You Could Save Me
by goldsworthyeli
Summary: After losing his girlfriend in the worst of ways, Eli Goldsworthy finds a new way to deal: self-harm. When his parents find out, he is send to a mental hospital. While there, he finds stability in the least likely of people, fellow patient, Clare Edwards.
1. Chapter 1

Eli Goldsworthy was spending yet another night by himself in the TV room of the teen ward of a local mental hospital. After Julia had died, things had just felt... _wrong._ He began to hurt himself physically. Burning, cutting, anything. She was dead, and he deserved to feel as much pain as possible. When his parents had noticed what he had been doing, he had been sent for Psychiatric evaluation immediately. He'd been in this dump ever since.

The worst part of the place was the loneliness. Sure, there were other kids his age here, but he didn't relate to any of them. They were either so out of it that they were going around yelling whatever thoughts came into their head, or they were so angry that they refused to speak to anyone, even when approached. Eli was usually a bit of a loner anyway, but now was a time when he really needed a friend.

He flipped through TV channels, unable to concentrate, until one of the places many nurses came in and told him that it was time for lights out. He walked down the long hall to his room, closing the door behind him while eyeing _Fight Club_ by Chuck Palahniuk, an author whose books he had taken refuge in ever since the death of Julia. He reached under his pillow for his hidden flashlight, sat down on the unfamiliar bed and got lost in the book until he fell asleep.

That morning he was awoken the same way he had been every morning since his arrival. It was time for his physical examination before breakfast. He sat up, brushing his hair out of his face, and setting the still open book on his bedside table. Still in his pyjamas, he bagan walking down the hall to the evaluation room next to the nurses station.

As usual, there was already someone in the evaluation room, so Eli had to wait his turn. He sat on the office chair outside the door, getting lost in his thoughs until he heard the door open a few minutes later. One of the wards usual nurses emerged first, followed by a girl Eli had never seen before. She immediately caught his eye, and he could tell right away that she belonged in a place like this. Her hair was curly, but there were bald spots in a few places where it looked like it had been pulled out. His eyes automatically wandered toward her arms, checking to see if maybe, they had something in common. Sure enough, there were thin white scars on her left arm, as well as a few newer cuts. Her self-harm was not as severe as Eli's, but it was there. She wore short sleeves, as if to make sure the world knew that she was broken.  
Underneath all of the pain on this girls face, Eli could see that she was beautiful. He was especially drawn to her eyes, which were the perfect shade of blue. Every part of her looked sad, but he could see hope in her eyes. Her curly hair fell to her shoulders, and despite the missing bits, the rest looked well taken care of. She gave him a shy smile as the nurse led her down the hall to what Eli assumed was her room.

Less than a minute later, the nurse reappeared, motioning for Eli to enter the room and begin his examination.

"How are you this morning, Elijah?"

Eli shrugged, "Same, I guess,"

The nurse smiled sympathetically and began with the usual tests. Checking his ears and throat for who knows what reason, as well as his reflexes, leading to the most embarassing part.

"I know this part is awkward and intrusive," the nurse smiled, "but we need to make sure you're not hurting yourself anymore, so I'm going to leave the room while you put on a gown so I can check your arms and legs, alright?"

Eli nodded awkwardly as the nurse turned and left the room to give him privacy. He hated this. How the hell do they think he's going to be able to hurt himself in this place anyway? They kept the shower curtains up with velcro, for god sakes. But he decided that it wasn't worth arguing, and slipped into the scratchy hospital gown.

Poking his head out of the door, he told the nurse that he was ready for her to come back.

She smiled at him, and proceeded to check every surface of Eli's body for anything that resembled self-harm. Finding nothing, she told him that it was alright for him to go back to his room. Eli stood up awkwardly, checking to make sure that the back of the robe was closed before collecting his clothes and heading toward the door. Before leaving, he let his curiousity get the best of him.

"Nurse Marie?" he asked, "I um, have a question. I was just wondering what the girl's name was. You know, the one that was in here before me? It's just that I've never seen her around here before."

"Yes, Eli, she just arrived this morning, so I would have been surprised if you had seen her before," the nurse smiled. "But her name is Clare Edwards, I'm sure you'll be seeing more of her."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, sorry that it's been so long since I've updated, my laptop has been down. It's up and running though, at least for now, so here's an update! I apologize for it being so short but it'll pick up soon. Reviews, please? :)**

**-Kieran.**

_Clare Edwards. _  
Eli couldn't get the name out of his head. Something had him drawn toward her. Her eyes, maybe? They were the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. Full of pain as well as hope. He hadn't even spoken a word to the girl, but he was determined to get to know her. A later group therapy session gave him the perfect chance. Although Eli usually had no problem opening up in these sessions, this one was different. He felt her presence the entire time, and he didn't want to get to know her based around his problems, even if that was what had brought the two of them here in the first place. So he let the session drag on, not uttering a word, and just shrugging or mumbling a few words when any small bit of attention had been brought to him.  
As everyone filed out of the room, Eli made sure to be one of the first out, so he could wait for the girl. Leaning against the side of the doorway, he awaited her arrival.  
Eli was usually a lot less confident with girls, but as soon as she stepped out of the door, he approached her, holding out his hand.  
"Hello there," he flashed his signature crooked smile. "Name's Eli Goldsworthy, and I've just decided to take on the role of welcoming comittee in this place."  
She smiled back at him shyly. "Well hello, Eli Goldsworthy. I'm Clare Edwards, 15 years old and emotionally damaged."  
Eli smiled sympathetically, enjoying her confidence. "Aren't we all?"

That was the only time he interacted with her that day, as he began to feel guilty. The rest of the day he spent all of his extra time in his room, making sure to avoid all other patients. He couldn't allow himself to get close to someone else, not after what had happened...  
He found it strange that he was thinking this way while hardly knowing the girl. He had no problem making friends, so why couldn't he make friends with her? The rest of his night was spent convincing himself that he would try again tomorrow. They all had to be in the "school room" right after breakfast tomorrow morning. Why they had school in a place like this was beyond him, but the patients were told that if they did not attend, that would just add to the duration of their stay, so he was assuming she'd show up.

He arrived in the schoolroom the next morning, right on time with the rest of the patients. Clare, however, was not there.  
This caused Eli a great amount of anxiety. His day had been set around talking to her, getting to know her, and she didn't even fucking show up? He was angry at himself, and he was also angry at her, and angry at himself _for _being mad at her.  
"_How the hell would she know that you're here to see her, Eli?" _he whispered to himself, realizing how creepy this whole thing was. He was sitting in the schoolroom of the hospital, which he hardly ever attended, just to speak to a girl that he didn't even know.  
But he wasn't going to give up. He needed to figure out what it was about her... what drew him to her. She was the first girl he'd even thought about since...  
"SLAM!" a group of textbooks had been carelessly dropped on the desk beside him. He was put into good spirits immediately when he looked up and realized who it was.  
"Hey, Goldsworthy," Clare Edwards smiled innocently at him, blushing. He could tell that she was shy, and that intrigued him. She really hadn't seemed shy yesterday, blurting out the whole _"emotionally damaged" _thing.  
"Um, hi Clare-" Eli stammered, fumbling for words.  
Just as he was about to make a fool out of himself, he noticed what sat on top of her stack of textbooks. It was the book _Invisible Monsters,_ the Chuck Palahniuk book he had read just before starting the next on his list, _Fight Club._ He had finally found something to discuss with her.  
"So, you like Palahniuk?" he asked excitedly.


End file.
